Ami Johnson is the self-described trophy wife of silvery-bearded funnyman Chris and stay-at-home mother of extreme flutist and aspiring FBI agent Ella (17), extreme feminist and gifted songstress Kate (13) and talking encyclopedia Maribeth (7), who adores Peppa Pig (hence the nickname “Mommy Pig”). Ami is not winning any mother-of-the-year awards but would like to point out that she is doing the best she can with those kids and does not use meth or wine. She is also uncomfortable referring to herself in the third person and may need to rewrite this introduction when she is less tired, perhaps in 12 years or so.

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